Experiencing the loss of a pregnancy or an infant is undeniably difficult and challenging to come to terms with, yet it is real life. Sadly, about one-quarter of all women face loss during pregnancy. It is difficult to describe and understand the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual impacts the loss of a child has on a family.
Processing Grief
Everyone experiences grief differently; your journey is your own and may not look like anyone else’s. It is important to take note of the following aspects of how to process grief.
- Give yourself time
- There is no magic amount of time it takes to heal from a loss. Allow yourself to grieve and acknowledge the myriad of emotions that may arise.
- You can cycle through a range of emotions after a pregnancy loss – or you may simply feel withdrawn and moody and unable to concentrate or sleep. It’s all valid.
- Know it is not your fault.
- It’s normal to feel guilty or blame yourself for your pregnancy loss, and while these feelings are very real, it’s not your fault. Be gentle, give yourself grace, and allow yourself time to recover.
- Self-compassion is key to recovery.
- Accept that not everyone grieves the same way.
- A partner, family, and friends may all process their grief in different ways. There is no right way to process the pain of a loss.
- Share your feelings and needs, but allow each person the space to navigate their pain in their own way.
- Surround yourself with support
- Sharing your story can alleviate feelings of isolation and provide solace.
- Surround yourself with a supportive network of loved ones who can offer empathy and understanding.
- Take Care of yourself.
- Many people find it helpful to name their babies or remember them in tangible ways. You can plant a tree, light a candle in remembrance, or have a unique piece of jewelry made.
Supporting those in Mourning
Learning how to support those navigating the difficult journey of pregnancy and infant loss with sensitivity, empathy, and understanding is essential. Grief, like love, knows no bounds—it demands to be felt, acknowledged and shared. Each situation is different, but offering comfort and solace in times of grief and uncertainty can tremendously help those in mourning.
Have Empathy and Listen
When someone we care about is navigating the stormy seas of pregnancy and infant loss, it can be daunting to know what to say or do. But the truth is, sometimes, the simplest gestures can make the biggest impact. Instead of trying to find a silver lining, practice the art of listening and empathy.
Words are Powerful
Imagine hearing, “Everything happens for a reason. This wasn’t meant to be,” during your darkest hour. While well-intentioned, these words can ring hollow, dismissing the magnitude of the pain. Instead, a gentle acknowledgment of their sorrow, such as, “I’m so sorry. I can imagine this is very sad for you,” can offer solace and validation.
Similarly, phrases like, “At least you know you can get pregnant,” or “At least you have a healthy child already,” though meant to provide reassurance, may inadvertently minimize their grief. Instead, let’s hold space for their emotions, asking simply, “How are you?” and offering a listening ear without judgment.
Understanding the Impact of Loss
It’s essential to recognize that the impact of pregnancy loss extends far beyond the physical and emotional toll. Many women who endure such loss may grapple with mental health issues that linger long after the event, even if they go on to have healthy pregnancies. Understanding this, we can offer ongoing support and compassion, acknowledging that healing is not linear and everyone’s journey is unique.
Offer Consistent Comfort
In moments of profound grief, sometimes actions speak louder than words. A comforting hug, a handwritten note, or a simple text message expressing solidarity can convey more than a thousand well-meaning phrases. The key is to stay connected, to let them know they are not alone in their pain.
Fairview Range is hosting a Memorial Service on Sunday, May 19th, in remembrance of families who have experienced the loss of pregnancy or neonatal loss. Our remembrance service is a time to reflect and honor your baby while feeling the support of others who have also experienced a loss.
Event Details
- Date: Sunday, May 19th
- Time: 1:00 p.m.
- Location: Hull Rust Room (West Entrance), Fairview Range Medical Center, 750 East 34th Street, Hibbing
Check out our Facebook page for more information about the event.
